Thursday, September 18, 2008

a low five

Player: Ryan Klesko
Card: 2003 Topps Opening Day #23
Errors: Player appears to be hitting batting practice into fans. Player believes his hat is camouflage - rest of uniform does not blend in.
Comment:
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines "worst" as the "most unfavorable, difficult, unpleasant, or painful." I believe this is the perfect way to describe the 2003 Topps Opening Day Ryan Klesko card. I believe this is the worst card ever put on cardboard because it is from a useless a subset, it makes no sense at all and Ryan Klesko sucks.
One of the reasons the 2003 Topps Opening Day Ryan Klesko is the worst card ever produced is because it is from a useless subset. In 2003, Topps put out a regular set, a gallery set, a pristine set, a game-used memoribilia set, a heritage set, a mini set, a blue back set, a chrome set and a traded set. There was probably even more. So, the opening day set is just one more dumb picture of a player. It's like Topps is spitting in the eyes of collectors, which is bad if you want them to buy stuff.
The second reason the 2003 Topps Opening Day Ryan Klesko is the worst card ever is because it makes no sense at all. The player is shown in a military hat, but who knows why. He's hitting off a batting tee, so it looks unique but instead it's only erstwhile and stupid and no one wants a card like that. Also, it also does not seem to have anything to do with opening day.
Finally, the 2003 Topps Opening Day Ryan Klesko is the worst card ever because Ryan Klesko sucks. He's only hit over .300 two times and he grounded into 7 double plays, both very poor statistics. He also struck out 86 times which is one of the worst things you can do because it hurts your team and doesn't add any runs. He also only got one triple, which is not many even for something hard like a triple.
There are many, many bad cards ever invented in the world. But only one can be the worst card of all time in the entire universe. Because it is from a useless subset, it makes no sense at all and Ryan Klesko sucks, the 2003 Topps Opening Day Ryan Klesko is the worst card that was ever made.
Scoring: INT

4 comments:

PL said...

what about that facial hair? worst all round package ever. fuck this card....

robustyoungsoul said...

Now that it has been declared the absolute worst, I want it.

Rod said...

It is probably from the Padres military opening day, they used to do once a year and now wear camo every Sunday to honor the Navy and Marines in SD.

MMayes said...

Klesko wasn't hitting off a tee into the crowd. What you don't see is Sean Burroughs being held just to the left of the card by the late Rod Beck and Beck saying, "C'mon Klesko. Let's let this little wussie boy understand what Ball Three is all about!!! We'll toughen this boy up." Burroughs was never the same, but he never again forgot to wear his cup.