Thursday, July 3, 2008

the hunchback of middle infielders

Player: Jeff Treadway
Card: 1991 Fleer #707
Errors: Kids, that's no way to field a grounder - always get in front of the ball. Is he playing baseball in a meadow? Again, thank you Fleer for a set of blindingly yellow posed baseball cards.
Comments:
FULTON COUNTY SHERIFF DEPARTMENT
INCIDENT REPORT 08-AF1543
Incident: Aggravated fielding
Time: 23:11
Date: 7.3.1990
Location: Meadow bordering Chalmers St. and Howell Ave.
Suspect: Jeff Treadway, 1/22/1963, 521 Capitol Ave., Atlanta, GA, m/w, 170 lbs, 5ft11, hair brown, eyes closed, posture poor, wearing blue hat, blue shirt, high gray pants, no tattoos or identifying marks
Summary: At above time and location, I, Offc. John DeMerit #29, was called to the scene of an aggravated fielding incident. Victim Herb Moford (8/6/1928, 12301 Roosevelt Ave, Flushing, NY, m/w, 6'1'', 175, hair brown, eyes hazel with specks of green) reported that he was having a picnic in a meadow near his home when he was approached by suspect Treadway, whom he did not know and was not enemies with.
Suspect Treadway was slumped over, yelling, "I am quasimodo. Throw me a grounder. I am quasimodo! Toss me a little pepper!"
Suspect's comments caused victim Moford to become alarmed and disturbed, as he was with his fiancee and feared for her physical safety.
In a calm manner, Moford gave suspect Treadway verbal instructions to leave the area. Suspect Treadway continued to advance toward picnic area and continued to verbally yell. When he reached picnic, suspect Treadway stepped on victim's fruit salad and silverware. Suspect Treadway then scooped up an orange and threw it at victim Moford, who was able to avoid contact with the projectile. Total loss was estimated at $8.50.
Victim Moford and fiancee fled the area northbound on Howell Ave and contacted authorities from Ken's Dollar Store, 1037 Howell Ave.
When officers arrived, suspect Treadway was slumped over, trying to scoop up ducks in his baseball glove.
At 23:45 hrs, I contacted state's attorney's office. ASA Cliff Cook approved charges of felony aggravated fielding and misdemeanor water fowl harassment within 1000 feet of a school.
Scoring: 7-4

2 comments:

RPA said...

i just have to say i've had a crappy week.

and this made it better.

thank you.

huayuan said...

read over,