tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78391231529723271432024-03-04T21:11:58.072-08:00The Ugly Baseball Card BlogDedicated to a hobby that turns out approximately 10 zillion different cards a year.
Not all of them can be pretty.Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-19955961152935087842008-12-18T12:00:00.000-08:002008-12-18T12:00:01.174-08:00pencils down<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3-OTrAGrWWHlzTNUEhe622lIM0d8Armhf0EP7rf_oxGlf1zVPRmxaV3WdyMviETDkVHZm2gnfdw7cDY4zehyenw632y4Qz3HlThgdGx9N4LpayZ2UNMbiznZtGBsCWIexEEPpmDa-FQ/s1600-h/Walker93.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281032499781448402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 287px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3-OTrAGrWWHlzTNUEhe622lIM0d8Armhf0EP7rf_oxGlf1zVPRmxaV3WdyMviETDkVHZm2gnfdw7cDY4zehyenw632y4Qz3HlThgdGx9N4LpayZ2UNMbiznZtGBsCWIexEEPpmDa-FQ/s400/Walker93.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Players:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/w/walkela01.shtml">Larry Walker</a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/d/daultda01.shtml">Darren <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Daulton</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1993 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Fleer</span> #715<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Why aren't investigative reporters looking into the proliferation beer ads on baseball cards? Also, what is the connection between these two players? Marl...Marl...Marl-what?<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />SECTION FOUR: VOCABULARY COMPREHENSION<br />You will have sixteen (16) minutes to complete the following questions. Each question will have only one correct answer. Be sure to color in the oval completely, without going outside the borders. Proctors cannot answer questions about this section of the exam.<br />You may begin.<br /><br /><em>1. Larry Walker's head is to Darren <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Daulton's</span> head; as a golf ball is to:</em><br />a) A tennis ball<br />b) The Earth<br />c) A cement block<br />d) Domingo Ramos<br /><br /><em>2. Expos are to pterodactyls; as Seattle Pilots are to:</em><br />a) Bump Wills<br />b) The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Kingdome</span><br />c) Washington (state)<br />d) The Colt .45's<br /><br /><em>3. Gold chains are to totally awesome; as Super Star Specials are to:</em><br />a) monolithic<br />b) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">dudical</span><br />c) inaccurate<br />d) Domingo Ramos<br /><br /><em>4. Darren <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Daulton's</span> mullet is to business in the front, party in the back; as Darren <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Daulton's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Robocop</span> jaw is to:</em><br />a) I'll be back.<br />b) Holy cow!<br />c) The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!<br />d) All of the above.<br /><br /><em>5. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Fleer</span> is to gray borders; as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">MLB</span> logos are to:</em><br />a) Script writing<br />b) Dotting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">i's</span> with stars<br />c) Pinstripes do not make you look thinner<br />d) Misdirected Canadian patriotism<br /><br /><em>6. Larry Walker is to Darren <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Daulton</span>; as Bert is to:</em><br />a) Ernie<br />b) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Blyleven</span><br />c) rubber <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">duckie</span><br />d) Domingo Ramos<br /><br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> CS1-2Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com127tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-15142623704677534112008-12-11T12:00:00.000-08:002008-12-11T12:00:01.005-08:00see attached affidavit<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fD2gwO3-9BK3SrfS3LRQTWZA_m4Ise7BATYJQoXVjnIvKqtiQ6G25GX5FzW_xsiJAfYDLNCx_pC8Xtm2DvkQ9T0To3mQrvbWdJdUw1ce_Z3iwoeA6bXURUEzH1YlkLL3oUJZJ-8STVw/s1600-h/Fernando89.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278431789312973138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 295px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fD2gwO3-9BK3SrfS3LRQTWZA_m4Ise7BATYJQoXVjnIvKqtiQ6G25GX5FzW_xsiJAfYDLNCx_pC8Xtm2DvkQ9T0To3mQrvbWdJdUw1ce_Z3iwoeA6bXURUEzH1YlkLL3oUJZJ-8STVw/s400/Fernando89.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/v/valenfe01.shtml">Fernando Valenzuela</a><br /><div><strong>Card:</strong> 1989 Upper Deck #656</div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> Elvis lives! Is that a windshield on your face, or are you just happy to have corrected vision? </div><div><strong>Comments:</strong></div><div><em>Count one:</em> From on or about April 1989 to October 1989, the defendant FERNANDO VALENZUELA, did conspire to participate in a scheme to spread <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Fernandomania</span> through means of Interstate Traffic, in violation of U.S. Codes 1345, 1886</div><div><em>Count two:</em> From on or about April 1989 to October 1989, the defendant FERNANDO VALENZUELA did conspire or collude to highlight his package by wearing tighter than necessary pants, in violation of U.S. Code 36</div><div><em>Count three:</em> From on or about April 1989 to October 1989, the defendant FERNANDO VALENZUELA attempted to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">received</span> benefits of more than $13.88 in exchange for performing neighborhood acts including - but not limited to - performing as a Michael Jackson impersonator, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">rockin</span>' the sweatband hardcore and Air Guitar tribute band, in violation of many, many U.S. Codes</div><div><em></em></div><div><em>AFFIDAVIT IN SUPPORT OF APPLICATION</em></div><div>I, Carl Willey, being a trained detective for the Federal Bureau of Baseball Card Investigations swear the following is a true and accurate depiction of events, as captured in a federal overhear.</div><div>On April 23, 1989, in a recorded conversation, VALENZUELA spoke with Dodgers Second Baseman 3 about the team's pitching rotation, which VALENZUELA was concerned about losing his spot on. VALENZUELA was concerned that he might be sent to the minor leagues or "some totally [<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">redacted</span>]-up [redacted] like that." Dodger Second Baseman 3 asked VALENZUELA how far he was willing to go secure his spot in the rotation. VALENZUELA assured Dodger Second Baseman 3 he would "not hesitate to [redacted] drop a [redacted]<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ing</span> [redacted] bomb on his [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]."</div><div>In the background, Valenzuela Wife 3 can be heard, "[redacted] that (Dodger Manager 1). He's dead. [Redacted]<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ing</span> dead." </div><div>Later in the conversation, VALENZUELA threatens to release a "can of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Fernandomania</span>" in Dodger stadium during the Air Guitar finals which he plans to compete in later that night. VALENZUELA said he knows that Dodger Manager 1 wants Minor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Leaguer</span> 8 for the spot in the rotation and he is upset <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">because</span> the team "is not willing to give me anything but appreciation. I believe this to be a supreme injustice after all that I have done for this organization through the years. It is simply unfair. Oh yes, and also [redacted] [<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">redacted</span>] [redacted]."</div><div><strong>Scoring:</strong> 1-2</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-74181728987895469782008-12-04T12:00:00.000-08:002008-12-04T19:57:14.367-08:00reach out and touch someone<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsHpuZsMvMWEh2785xjtJc-nKtbKs8LJFci0qMJ1hOtesG9caFnuy54nTLSs16TAB84tgBLssRcqwz0dvIwk0YnpX2YLeF30hodgsG69RkLiLpwwe_7kDL2wBf_rQ8q3dMtsL_a2AaDg/s1600-h/Ripken88.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275820978308591154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 285px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsHpuZsMvMWEh2785xjtJc-nKtbKs8LJFci0qMJ1hOtesG9caFnuy54nTLSs16TAB84tgBLssRcqwz0dvIwk0YnpX2YLeF30hodgsG69RkLiLpwwe_7kDL2wBf_rQ8q3dMtsL_a2AaDg/s400/Ripken88.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Players:</strong> (left to right) <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/f/fernato01.shtml">Tony Fernandez</a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/r/ripkeca01.shtml">Cal <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ripken</span> Jr</a>., <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/t/trammal01.shtml">Alan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Trammell</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1988 Score #651<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Good thing you mentioned that's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ripken</span> <em>Jr</em>. - I thought it was his dad. What, no love for Kurt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Stillwell</span>? Alan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Trammell's</span> hand appears to be both behind and in front of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ripken</span> - defying the laws of physics. Where's Tony Fernandez's left hand headed?<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:180%;"><strong>CV for Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Pignatno</span></strong></span><br /><strong>Objective</strong><br />To integrate consumers' passion for America's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">past time</span> with "underground" advertising that will increase exposure for high-quality brands with profit margins greater than 23 percent or a annual revenue projection in the top 14 percent of U.S. companies<br /><strong>Work experience</strong><br /><em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Integrated</span> product technician, Score Baseball Card Co., 1987-1989</em><br />- As part of the design team, I helped to coordinate and select the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">set's</span> trademark random color scheme which led collectors to increase time spent with each card by 45 percent in the first 3 months. Design also encouraged cross collecting that manifested in a 1.2 percent increase in pack sales.<br />- Assisted with the developed Score's "Super" collection which included multiple stars on one card (a 300 percent increase), with players posed in random manner that was non-threatening to consumers.<br />- Worked on Score's bubble gum transition team that moved the company from sugar-based inserts to small, collectible cards that included trivia and subliminal messages, leading to a 73.4 percent increase in sales to ADA-backed vendors.<br />- <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Implemented</span> a lucrative contract with several Fortune 500 advertisers to sell space behind the heads of Major League baseball players. Ads reached target audiences with long-term growth potential and led to an 2.3 percent increase in brand visibility within the first 18 months.<br />- Served as lead negotiator with Winston Salem Tobacco Co., Budweiser and Hilltop Machine Gun Co., to integrate product messaging onto cards, increasing brand awareness by 16 percent in target demographic, young males 4-12.<br />- Other duties as assigned.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Unemployed 1986-1987</strong><br />- Working on novel about Spanish American <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">War's</span> impact on the immigration of the American Tern. (unpublished)<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>High-value target <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">interrogator</span>, CIA, 1983-1985</strong><br />- Worked to elicit information from individuals identified by the American government as enemy combatants.<br />- Assigned to Private Sector <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Partnering</span> Team that infused pamphlets dropped on foreign soil with brand-based suggestions.<br />- Other duties as assigned.<br /><br /><strong>Eastern Illinois University, lab assistant, 1982-1983</strong><br />- Worked in English Composition tutoring labs, with a focus on 16<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">th</span> French poetry and the works of Emily Dickinson.<br /><br />References available upon request.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> F6Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-63477576297871002692008-11-27T12:00:00.000-08:002008-11-27T22:23:42.892-08:00give thanks<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHVZGuyS66s3UxLGh1EQh7LoBoCa-L44M5cvWQSE5E3ciIhS6tsU0jakBosbataXRIdpaq_vPCbVEi9PPasFerL21-iwaLZHnhyERwDy3rbM3Lr5jAJQSAdHShsy4S4kfiiWpEPHu-1c/s1600-h/Carreon91.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273414912238898130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 283px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHVZGuyS66s3UxLGh1EQh7LoBoCa-L44M5cvWQSE5E3ciIhS6tsU0jakBosbataXRIdpaq_vPCbVEi9PPasFerL21-iwaLZHnhyERwDy3rbM3Lr5jAJQSAdHShsy4S4kfiiWpEPHu-1c/s400/Carreon91.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/c/carrema01.shtml">Mark <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Carreon</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Fleer</span> #142<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Players is In Action! Don't forget, card owners, to watch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">SportsChannel</span>! Do you know why he's running to fast? He's being chased by Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones!<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:130%;">Stuff I Am Thankful For</span><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">an essay by That Guy in the Circle</span></em><br />I am thankful for baseball, the grand old game. It inspires me and comforts me. It keeps my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">summers</span> full of happiness and joy. It gives me something to look forward to in the long, cold winters.<br />I am thankful for the Arizona sun, which keeps my ripped, bodacious body tanned and smoking - something the ladies are very thankful for. Thank you, ladies.<br />I am thankful for white shorts, which not only show off my buns and my Satchel Paige, but keep me cool and relaxed. Thank you, white shorts.<br />I am thankful for late inning blowouts in spring training and lazy ushers, who allow me to slip up to the front row, into the $22 seats. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Suh</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">weet</span>. Thank you, ushers.<br />I am thankful that I was there. I was there to witness Mark <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Carreon</span> scoring a meaningless spring training run when some not-ready-for-the-big-leagues outfielder momentarily bobbled the ball. Thank you, outfielder.<br />But, most of all, I am thankful that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Fleer</span> hired photographers with deep focus lenses who could perfectly capture This Place, This Event, This Moment. How would my many, many future children believe it happened without you, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Fleer</span> photographer? Thank you, future kids.<br />So, yes, I am thankful for a lot of stuff.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 3UUglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-50078913896157880592008-11-20T12:00:00.000-08:002008-11-20T12:00:00.743-08:00a word from our sponsors<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbZ9MXaicoGpOpwCcHls6FSgQ183ETi77gfqvcqNEa4ZVu6w3il8D_2Ji62RsLmmbu8MPruukOAG2KoIz6OQoHemaOw5rEFY1A93d7d902s79CXttX9nr8Vw1TK72cBhR2gf9rzY4_v8g/s1600-h/Yount92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270634827203925202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 293px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbZ9MXaicoGpOpwCcHls6FSgQ183ETi77gfqvcqNEa4ZVu6w3il8D_2Ji62RsLmmbu8MPruukOAG2KoIz6OQoHemaOw5rEFY1A93d7d902s79CXttX9nr8Vw1TK72cBhR2gf9rzY4_v8g/s400/Yount92.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/y/yountro01.shtml">Robin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Yount</span> </a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1992 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Fleer</span> #708<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> The player appears in this painting to have the neck of the giraffe, the hair of the lion and the flat brim of the elderly grandfather. Beware, Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Yount</span> there are a lot of balls coming your way.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong> Ladies and gentlemen, readers of all ages, we here at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Uglee</span> Card Industries (subsidiary of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Uglee</span> Card Inc., wholly distributed by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Uglee</span> LTD.) would like to take you behind the scenes of our operation, so you can know better some of the people who put our fine quality <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Uglee</span> products, including <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Uglee</span> mustache combs, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Uglee</span> painting kits and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Uglee</span> brand hot pants.<br />Pretty much every Thursday, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Uglee</span> readers are treated to some of the best in ugly baseball card analysis, insight and overreaching metaphors. But the finished product that appears magically through the American Internet is actually the end result of an intense, seven-day process of evaluating inventory, plotting scripts and screening for accuracy.<br />To help you understand the process, some of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Uglee</span> upper management agreed to a behind-the-scenes look at this week's selection of the Robin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Yount</span> 1992 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Fleer</span> card.<br />We started at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Uglee</span> World Headquarters, located on a street probably much like your street, in a building probably very much like your building or at least like one you've seen on TV. Just minutes after last week's difficult work on the Len <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Randle</span> Project was completed, a company-wide meeting was called to scan the Uglee inventory.<br />From this stock, the 14 project managers each made his or her pitch for next week's feature, outlining the pros and cons.<br />Line editor Herb <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Moford</span> was behind a 1980 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Topps</span> Gene Richards card - accenting Richards' unusual hair and batting stance. He was ultimately voted down.<br />"There's a lot of give and take here," <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Moford said</span>. "Although I haven't gotten a card through since the February John Smiley Edition, my editors encourage me to keep trying. I won't let them down."<br />By Saturday, the team had narrowed the choices to two promising cards: the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Fleer</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Yount</span> and a 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Donruss</span> Carlos Quintana.<br />Teams were then sent out to research the player's backgrounds, contact former lovers and root through legal records, trying to dig up anything that can be used in the final piece. Design specialist Bob <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Moorhead</span> was on the Quintana team, which focused <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">primarily</span> on the player's unusual positioning and a chain that dangled out of his jersey.<br />"This is stressful work, but very rewarding," <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Moorhead</span> said. "We can get into some pretty nasty fights. But it makes the final product stronger and not just a bunch of jokes about cup size."<br />Monday morning, managing editor Joe Ginsberg called both teams into the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Uglee</span> board room/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">cafetorium</span> to hear arguments from both teams. Many times, the pitches made at these meetings become the focus for the final product. Other times, they are simply the launching point for more involved <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">oeuvres</span> or homages. Once, there was a pastiche.<br />This week, Ginsberg ultimately went with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Yount</span> Team.<br />"They brought a lot more to the table," Ginsberg said from his desk, as he snacked on some Big League Chew provided for free in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Uglee</span> vending machines. "The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Yount</span> card gave us a lot more to work with. You can go (with the) hippie thing. You can make him part of the first outer space baseball league. We've got room to roam."<br />The next 48 hours were the most intense for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Uglee</span> Editorial Dept. A round-the-clock team of 18 writers worked tirelessly on drafts of cards. Willard Hunter is the veteran of the group. Hunter, a former Marine and writer for the Caroline in the City, is known affectionately by the other writers as "Cow Butt." But despite the nickname, Hunter is not known to pull punches when it comes to quality. At a recent meeting, he attacked another writer's first draft.<br />"You call this work!" Hunter screamed. "I could write better <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Yount</span> material on my death bed! Think, you moron!"<br />This week's inclusion of a Hall of Fame player left several writers intimidated by the scope and breadth of their project. Still, the best writers seemed to thrive under the adversity. At one point, the power went out in the building and two writers retreated to their cars, using cigarette lighters to power their lap tops.<br />By Wednesday, a draft was ready to be turned over to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Uglee</span> Standards, Ethics and Quality Department. The copy editors gathered in a room that seems small, but is actually quite large. Here, former New York Times columnists and ex-novelists went over, line by line, each word of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Yount</span> Project. At the same time, in a rather large but tiny room, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Uglee</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">ethicists</span> debated the merits of certain aspects of the copy. While it may seem trivial, this can be one of the most crucial parts of the process. In the past, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">ethicists</span> were responsible for the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">controversial</span>, though <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">ultimately</span> successful, no-big-ear-jokes push, which some experts believe may have saved <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Uglee</span> industries somewhere in the vicinity of $10 billion in just three months.<br />This week, a heated debate broke out on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Yount</span> Project, centered around the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">centerfielder's</span> unusual hair. In the end, Chief Ethicist Sammy Taylor argued powerfully that Kant's theories on dependent beauty (which presupposes what beauty should be) validated the basic theory behind the criticism of the card, but not the critique of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Yount's</span> hair.<br />"If we allow ourselves to stick solely to examinations of locks, I feel that we will post nothing but 1970s Atlanta Braves epics and Jeff <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Reardon</span> tomes," Taylor argued. "We're all better than that, I believe."<br />Finally, at 11:59 a.m. Thursday, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">Yount</span> Project is ready to go to print. A monkey trained by former major <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">leaguer</span> Danny <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Tartabull</span> pushes the button, and the post is published to the waiting world.<br />We hope you enjoyed your glimpse behind the curtain at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Uglee</span> Card Industries (subsidiary of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Uglee</span> Card Inc., wholly distributed by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Uglee</span> LTD.). The future seems bright for the company, which hopes to open copyright infringement and proof reading departments in the next six months.<br />In the meantime, enjoy this week's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Uglee</span> card analysis. As they say at the world headquarters: "It may be Uglee, but it's still a home run to us!"<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> PO 8-3Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com74tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-33696873509879880642008-11-13T12:00:00.000-08:002008-11-13T18:29:09.281-08:00one point twenty one gigawatts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCaXnsClucsFn_1RntFUcVHmO9TC7nhnY7WNAikv-28TNeZvYtPvaYQTsHAsKdCkRNoHxxnPTGuw4Eh8JkYrVhpYxGSpImuaEZl0kbd-cJNSRknR8gxpLVlZm3N4qOU9GkBbj78ppUdM/s1600-h/Randle+78.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268028921342432674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 297px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCaXnsClucsFn_1RntFUcVHmO9TC7nhnY7WNAikv-28TNeZvYtPvaYQTsHAsKdCkRNoHxxnPTGuw4Eh8JkYrVhpYxGSpImuaEZl0kbd-cJNSRknR8gxpLVlZm3N4qOU9GkBbj78ppUdM/s400/Randle+78.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/r/randlle01.shtml">Len <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Randle</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1978 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> # 544<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> It appears the first baseman went out of his way to tag with the non-glove hand. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Randle</span> may have been a more effective <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">defensive</span> player if he had two hands.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />And so it came down to this. The past. The future. The world.<br />Full count. Bases jammed. Tie game.<br />If <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Randle</span> drives in this run, then the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Mets</span> win. Then <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Randle</span> will not be released by the team. Then he will be there to stop the Commies from placing The Bomb in Lee <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Mazzilli's</span> locker. Then Shea Stadium will not collapse. Then democracy will be saved.<br />And all that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Randle</span> had been through - the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">DeLorian</span> repairs, kissing his mom, shooting Doc, punching Bump "Biff" Wells - will not be in vain.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Randle</span> pushes his left cleat into the deep dirt of San Diego Stadium, like a farmer pulling up a soybean.<br />Above him, the stadium's P.A. cranks out Chuck Berry's Johnny B. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Goode</span>.<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Randle</span> you can do this," he says to himself. "It is your density."<br />Butch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Metzger</span>, a 6-foot-1, 185-pound Indiana boy who isn't afraid of anybody, snarls and huffs on the mound. He rears back.<br />"It's the heat," <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Randle</span> mutters. "Fastball. Fastball. Fastball. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Fas</span>..."<br />The pitch is inside. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Randle</span> pulls his hands in defensively.<br />The baseball hits off the knob of his bat.<br />Clunk.<br />A dribbler down the third base line.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Randle</span> freezes. Would a gust of wind push the ball foul? No one has time to find out. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Randle</span> looks in the stands. Half of the fans already vanished.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Randle</span> tears down the line. Each step eats a yard of real estate.<br />He notices his right hand.<br />It's fading.<br />Why had Randall listened to Christopher Lloyd? That guy was driving a taxi last week. Now he was supposed to be a scientist? He was a buffoon! They should have never believed they could mess with this stuff. Changing the past only changed the future. Unlike the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">basepaths</span>, time is not a straight line.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Randle</span> screams and dives toward salvation, even though it is legal to run through first base in Major League Baseball (as long as you turn toward foul territory after passing the bag) and sliding reduces a player's momentum, essentially slowing him down at the critical instant.<br />A cloud of dust.<br />The umpire throws up his arms.<br />Safe!<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Mets</span> win.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Randle</span> celebrates. His hand - it's back! The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Mets</span> will not release him and the bomb will never be placed. The world is back on track. Everything will be fine.<br />As his teammates rush the field, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Randle</span> tosses his batting helmet into the air. The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Mets</span> bench piles on to today's hero, unaware just how much he saved.<br />Meanwhile, the helmet careens toward the stands, catching a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Hawaiian</span> baseball fan on the side of his head. It's a violent collision.<br />Young Barry Obama would never hear again.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 5-3Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-7334214989765797012008-11-06T12:00:00.000-08:002008-11-06T12:00:00.264-08:00concede nothing<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBAtDniiCXORcn5X96A_sLU5xS6BrQ0KDt6H-OR0y_vAfC0dhBTEZ6drHCt4IYnqnsFO4MGOfKe6DIktBGqDEr8msMxTp7_SOtRoAE1orDG5HZDXFOyqjr0QLfYvRH24h8EeEpTFocY2s/s1600-h/Oswalt03.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265447319618881266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 284px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBAtDniiCXORcn5X96A_sLU5xS6BrQ0KDt6H-OR0y_vAfC0dhBTEZ6drHCt4IYnqnsFO4MGOfKe6DIktBGqDEr8msMxTp7_SOtRoAE1orDG5HZDXFOyqjr0QLfYvRH24h8EeEpTFocY2s/s400/Oswalt03.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> Roy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Oswalt</span><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Donruss</span> Studio #133 <div><strong>Errors:</strong> I hate to tell you this Roy, but there's a train driving through your head. Is that a baseball offering? Is the baseball too hot too handle? Furthermore, player appears to be a giant.</div><div><strong>Comments:</strong></div><div>Thank you. Thank you. </div><div>(Pause)</div><div>I want to thank all of you for coming out here tonight and waiting in what appears to be some sort of train depot in the sky. Folks, I'm sad to tell you we have reached the end of our journey tonight. My teammates have spoken and they have spoken clearly - they would rather keep this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Rawlings</span> baseball on the team than me. I have been sent packing.</div><div>But let me assure you all tonight, that it was not me who failed. It was you, mainly. And the liberal media, a bit. But mostly you kept me down. Staying home to watch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">SportsCenter</span> rather than knocking on a few more doors; creating your own campaign literature that said "Vote Roy, if you aren't busy with more important things." You just weren't good enough.</div><div>Please, please. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Booing's</span> not necessary. Unless you're saying "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Rooooooy</span>." Are you saying "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Roooooy</span>?" No? Oh, OK.</div><div>A few minutes ago, I called <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Rawlings</span> baseball and offered my congratulations. Shortly after dialing, I was told by my aides that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Rawlings</span> had blocked my calls and text messages. But had I been able to speak to this inanimate object, I surely would have told it of my great admiration for all it's work and fine stitching.</div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Rawlings</span> baseball ran an honorable campaign. Although <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Rawlings</span> was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">unable</span> to hold conversations, never brought beer to any of the team parties, never purchased <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Rolexes</span> for the infielders and never gave up the good parking spot, it's clear my teammates have chosen to keep this baseball. What's not clear is why. At least I have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">opposable</span> thumbs, as you can see.</div><div>There are so many people to thank - the train engineers, the coal <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">shovelers</span>, the necklace makers. But I want to be sure to thank this woman standing next to me. I just met her, but she seems like a fantastic lady and she's a soccer fan, so that's great.</div><div>I also want to make mention of all the young people who got involved. Johnny the bat boy, I thought your vote should have counted. Don't give up that spirit. You are the future, even if you're not worth a hoot right now.</div><div>Well, folks, I will continue the fight to have fewer <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Rawlings</span> baseballs on the team. In our time ahead, I hope <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Rawlings</span> and I can work together to decrease the number of foul balls in the stands. In the meantime, I have filed an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">injunction</span> to challenge the vote totals.</div><div>Who's with me?</div><div><strong>Scoring:</strong> 8-5-2</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-24795417020726724882008-10-30T12:00:00.000-07:002008-10-30T13:35:11.895-07:00the best defense<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQ3yqY2IECraCbDuHshyiNWrAigFMWT5je9IbbBpjnJJb52U_Y-XdqPGkf5xvTaNuHddGEDY4UdyZxczFy6qWcuq4GLch5EW0y0xYcSY80gOxTG3V-iOGTTY1BGd2llcFckOsePUIo8g/s1600-h/Larkin92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262818169984407282" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQ3yqY2IECraCbDuHshyiNWrAigFMWT5je9IbbBpjnJJb52U_Y-XdqPGkf5xvTaNuHddGEDY4UdyZxczFy6qWcuq4GLch5EW0y0xYcSY80gOxTG3V-iOGTTY1BGd2llcFckOsePUIo8g/s400/Larkin92.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/l/larkiba01.shtml">Barry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Larkin</span></span> </a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1992 Post #23 (of 30)<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player is hiding unsightly neck mole with glove. Player does not have enough equipment on his left hand - where's the wristwatch, decoder bracelet and heart monitor? The Reds were really living up to their name that year.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />Hi, I'm Barry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Larkin</span></span>.<br />With just a few precious days until voters make one of the most important decisions in our township's history, I'd like to take this time to clear up a few rumors that my opponent - the nefarious and evil Todd Worrell - has been spreading about me, my family and my campaign for Vinegar Bend Township Highway Commissioner.<br />First off, during both the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">McArthur</span> Elementary School Candidate Forum and the Boy Scout <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Troop</span> 435 popcorn sale, my opponent has claimed that I am a communist. This is simply not true. I play for the Reds. I am not a Red. But apparently some voters still have some questions, especially since the local "media" has decided to publish the June through December minutes of the Vinegar Bend Communist Supporter Club, where I am listed as treasurer, vice president and second chair violinist. I can understand your confusion.<br />Well, let me be perfectly clear: I am not, nor have I been for at least six years, a Commie. And, as you can see, with the help of my sons Trotsky <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Larkin</span></span>, Mao <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Larkin</span></span> and Marks <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Larkin</span></span>, I have airbrushed all references to the "Reds" off my uniform to alleviate any further mix-ups. Furthermore, I think voters should consider that the publisher our local newspaper has a long history of this kind of smear journalism. I'll stand on my facts any day.<br />Second, my opponent - the wily <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">anarchist</span> Todd Worrell - has accused me of being an elitist, part of a "collector series." This could not be further from the truth, more or less. It's true that I was a 12-time All-Star. But, really, am I that much better than a Jeff <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Blauser</span></span>, an Alan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Trammell</span>, a Julio Franco? No, I'm a regular guy, just like the males in your family. And as the Vinegar Bend Township Highway Supervisor, I will reflect the values your family treasures: hard work, moderation and sobriety.<br />Finally, my opponent - the cowardly and really pretty jerky Todd Worrell - has made the claim that I am obsessed with myself. He would have you believe that just because I wear "wrist bands" with my own picture on them, I am all about what this position can do for me, rather than what the township highway supervisor can do for the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">constituents</span>. False, false, false. I wear that wrist band to remind me of where I came from and to remind me of my father - who worked in a wrist band shop for 56 years until, tragically and ironically, he developed arthritis in both wrists and died. And I'll work just as hard, if I'm blessed by the Almighty next week by winning this election.<br />I thank you for your time to clear up these falsehoods and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">innuendos</span>. And remember, when you head to the polls on Nov. 4, be sure to turn all the way to the end of the ballot, after the school board, after the coroner, after the pet limitation ordinance and after all those judges. That's where you'll find an evil sex pervert and me, Barry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Larkin</span></span> - a Vinegar Bend Township Highway Supervisor that you can count on to be American, all the way.<br />My name is Barry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Larkin</span></span> and I really approved this message.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 4-2Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-72564849869330980972008-10-23T12:00:00.000-07:002008-10-23T12:00:00.918-07:00world serious<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPJBqV6HDoH3X6xIWCZK8rToihOBJLQ-kNRJIXJrNmmDxxnDfBuCF3XDZCD2JrVuUw4tKmT22E4-9TT7_03h7PT1X98KMt4DgEjJ_PdgCKtrGTlAQv-xTSMBHdGoC0xW5RD8cY6kTFQ6M/s1600-h/Rose84.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260249521143082546" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 302px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPJBqV6HDoH3X6xIWCZK8rToihOBJLQ-kNRJIXJrNmmDxxnDfBuCF3XDZCD2JrVuUw4tKmT22E4-9TT7_03h7PT1X98KMt4DgEjJ_PdgCKtrGTlAQv-xTSMBHdGoC0xW5RD8cY6kTFQ6M/s400/Rose84.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKcbhQ1rG1Hg0ECzmhHELRsSgt4JjjI8KjLWO5Xn0UegzgvqDWAEsQRaZgETI8ueuiIgbTuY-s8Vg_JphSD3FBeAgTZHocrJV6XaspSB6kFcc30WHU_o6QLHy9hRf__qECoEkU9JZmvXk/s1600-h/Boggs99.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260241707618810274" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 288px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKcbhQ1rG1Hg0ECzmhHELRsSgt4JjjI8KjLWO5Xn0UegzgvqDWAEsQRaZgETI8ueuiIgbTuY-s8Vg_JphSD3FBeAgTZHocrJV6XaspSB6kFcc30WHU_o6QLHy9hRf__qECoEkU9JZmvXk/s400/Boggs99.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Players:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/boggswa01.shtml">Wade <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Boggs</span></a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/r/rosepe01.shtml">Pete Rose</a><br /><div><strong>Cards:</strong> 1984 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ralston</span> Purina #4, 1999 Omega #227</div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> Anton <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Chigurh,</span> meet Peter Rose. Does Wade <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Boggs</span> ever take his batting gloves off? Congratulations to the designers involved in all these uniform choices - you are an inspiration.</div><div><strong>Comments:</strong> </div><br /><div>TRANSCRIPT</div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">UGLEE</span> CARD CROSSFIRE EPISODE HI 54.645.99</div><div>ORIGINAL AIR DATE OCT 23 09</div><br /><div><em>Welcome to a very special edition of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Uglee</span> Card Crossfire, World Series edition. I'm your host Tucker <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Carville</span> and on tonight's program, I'm very happy to welcome some famous alumni from the teams squaring off in this year's World Series. From the Philadelphia <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Phillies</span>, Peter Rose, and from the Tampa Bay Rays, Wade <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Boggs</span>. Good to have both of you.</em></div><br /><div><strong>Rose:</strong> Hello, Tuck.<br /><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Boggs</span>:</strong> Hey there, Tuck. </div><br /><div><em>Well, I'll get right to it. Where do you both stand on the illegal immigration issue? It seems both the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Phillies</span> and the Rays support using immigrants from all over the world - Japan, the Middle East, Vatican City - to do their dirty work. They come here, but they refuse to learn our language, adopt our culture or eat our hot dogs. Should these players be deported or tarred?</em></div><br /><div><strong>Rose:</strong> Excuse me? </div><br /><div><em>Answer the question, gentleman! This <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">namby</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">pampy</span> rhetoric is exactly - no, precisely - what has dulled the American voters into submission. Your response is just more <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">pablum</span> from men wearing strange, zip-up suits with large striped collars and tall-hat Tom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Selleck</span> wannabes! This is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">socialism</span> at it's worst. It's very worst.</em> </div><br /><div><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Boggs</span>:</strong> Well, I thought we were here to make our predictions for the Series. </div><br /><div><em>Yes, please go ahead, talk about baseball while terrorists and anti-American zealots are infiltrating our Boy Scout troops, teaching in our schools, driving our trains, painting our crosswalks, designing the country's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Sodoku</span> puzzles and populating our small huts. This is madness gentleman! Madness! I'd like a straight answer from the silver, ghostly embodiment of Wade <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Boggs</span> which will haunt my dreams.</em></div><br /><div><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Boggs</span>:</strong> Well, let's see. Uh...I'm pro-American, Tuck, if that's what you mean...er...I think the Rays bullpen could be the diff...</div><br /><div><em>Bullpen? Bullpen! Oh, it's bull, all right. I don't care about some old washed up gambler. I want want to hear about Wade the Chicken Eater. I want a plan that will fix our crumbling infrastructure. I want answers to why a third basemen would wear long sleeves in Tampa while people in this country have no sleeves at all. And it's not just me - it's the American people: the baseball moms, the poker in-laws, the ping-pong grandmothers and the bowling cousins.</em> <em>What say you, sir?</em></div><br /><div><strong>Rose:</strong> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Phillies</span> in five?</div><div><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Boggs</span>:</strong> Rays in six?</div><br /><em>Thank you both for being here. This has been Tucker <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Carville</span> saying, if you're not American, you might as well punch yourself in the face.</em><br /><br /><div></div><div><strong>Scoring:</strong> CS 1-3-6</div></div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-43126528616772435042008-10-16T12:00:00.000-07:002011-02-13T12:35:16.409-08:00in the event of my demise<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDObWzEhb5tOKGKCTqJ-2XScZXh1y_8D1wBCqIoifXdrqlKLXZkH0_tCfuS8Qx_4gJuzchMW61xRM-bZ4oZPhDy5jpJ7FkhcVWoADnTrpccrVhmXSTpqL69sZu3ZVNWVtcpMdkauaoM4/s1600-h/Tunnell84.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; DISPLAY: block; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257789301482200114" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDObWzEhb5tOKGKCTqJ-2XScZXh1y_8D1wBCqIoifXdrqlKLXZkH0_tCfuS8Qx_4gJuzchMW61xRM-bZ4oZPhDy5jpJ7FkhcVWoADnTrpccrVhmXSTpqL69sZu3ZVNWVtcpMdkauaoM4/s400/Tunnell84.jpg" /></a> <strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/t/tunnele01.shtml">Lee Tunnell<br /></a><strong>Card:</strong> 1984 <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Fleer</span> #268<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> I hope that glove is keeping your fingertips warm because it’s certainly not going to help you catch any baseballs. Player got yellow fever; he got it bad. Player is considering renting that gap in his mustache.<br /><strong>Comments:<br /></strong>To whomever finds this missive,<br />I write this from a prison both metaphorical and physical. More than 497 days ago myself and 24 other men were taken, under duress, by a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">surprise</span> attack during our national anthem.<br />We were grabbed, blindfolded and taken far from our homes. Since then, our days have been long. We have sustained ourselves on a diet of tobacco, chewing gum and powdered Gatorade.<br />Our captors - who wear large hats, earrings and eye patches - forced us to engage in ridiculous and humiliating rituals involving other tribes. First, we are required to wear the costume of the American <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">bumblebee</span>. (The picture included was smuggled out in a rear cavity by a fellow prisoner - a man named Marvell.)<br />Once we are dressed, we pick up sticks and swat hopelessly at white balls thrown perilously close to our head. This has gone on for months, day and night.<br />And things are getting worse. Three weeks ago, a prisoner only known to us as “<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Tekulve</span>” was eaten. Just yesterday, another prisoner, who called himself <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Rhoden</span>, tried to escape. The guards caught and gave him "The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">Zimmer</span>." We were too scared to ask what that was - afraid our spirits would break for good.<br />By the time you read this, I may already be dead, or worse: traded. If I have gone to be with the Great Umpire in the Sky, please know that I leave my collection of black sleeves to my mustachioed patriot, Dale Berra.<br />If this reaches you, send troops. We are being held in a sports arena at the center of what we can only surmise is a large Midwestern city. Look for the land where three rivers meet and the average temperature is 17 <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Fahrenheit</span> degrees at night, 28 when the sun is out. If you discover our location, ask for a guard named "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">Candelaria"</span> who seems to express some sympathy for our cause.<br />God speed,<br />Lee <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">Tunnell</span> #CR 567<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 3-6-1Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-16260758171652933482008-10-09T12:00:00.000-07:002008-10-09T22:07:14.269-07:00body of evidence<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNbicFvAR9ksd5zzKwXODJ4ueohMUFhtHpgcs18XAYLD1uPBcmVffL97AkVpfsWWsKkopMf8Yowhyphenhyphen7uCIcrJ-Q-rM3yXcYF8OybulO04x1Vb4QWnVcDvh5aTcnFK0BggspC7FgVqFxElA/s1600-h/Rossiter92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5255169870513920610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNbicFvAR9ksd5zzKwXODJ4ueohMUFhtHpgcs18XAYLD1uPBcmVffL97AkVpfsWWsKkopMf8Yowhyphenhyphen7uCIcrJ-Q-rM3yXcYF8OybulO04x1Vb4QWnVcDvh5aTcnFK0BggspC7FgVqFxElA/s400/Rossiter92.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player</strong>: <a href="http://minors.baseball-reference.com/players.cgi?pid=27394">Mike <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Rossiter</span><br /></a><strong>Card:</strong> 1992 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> #474<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player sent in senior picture for Major League baseball card. Player's attention was diverted from camera by some suh-weet honies walking by.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br /><div>Baseball card autopsy 1992-474. Starting time of card autopsy is 19:34. Card autopsy performed at Alameda County Medical Examiner's Office. Card autopsy conducted by Alameda County assistant deputy coroner Ken Mackenzie, badge #456TR89.<br />The card is that of a 1992 Mike <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Rossiter</span>, an unbent regular edition card weighing 2 ounces and measuring 3.5 inches in height.<br />The card is dull, with a nondescript "Draft Pick" label that fails to indicate which round he was selected or by what team.<br />Card is cool to the touch, almost too cool. Card features player wearing a totally rad multi-colored shirt made fashionable by Miami Vice villains and the homeless.<br />The statistics on the back are symmetrical and show no masses or injuries. The trachea is in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">midline</span>. The hips are symmetrical and are free of scars. The lower extremities show no evidence of trauma.<br />The back has a significant abnormality. Two branches of a tree, possibly oak or elm, have sprouted from the back, about seven inches below the shoulder line.<br />In this medical examiner’s opinion, card's cause of death is attributed to a horrid fashion sense complicated by dense foliage growing from player’s back.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> FO2</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-28198022507971911342008-10-02T12:00:00.000-07:002008-10-02T18:33:08.422-07:00you make the call<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39r9_yspEDaa7HxDpc3DOpfSD68DyqJ4xbhtxBcdKxw6Ct-rd1D6h70xFdrmu5pyOP3Jy0iYyWjubkK4ACSdPW4pramaeKeGpcxBcVjwyh4iXR5ul4KrwYK7vJKUw9cpnGO0MCDSvjwM/s1600-h/Sid90.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252733070348863138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39r9_yspEDaa7HxDpc3DOpfSD68DyqJ4xbhtxBcdKxw6Ct-rd1D6h70xFdrmu5pyOP3Jy0iYyWjubkK4ACSdPW4pramaeKeGpcxBcVjwyh4iXR5ul4KrwYK7vJKUw9cpnGO0MCDSvjwM/s400/Sid90.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ZcY7P9gAacpmCHIq8Q6zrHuBMGtnyn_e7KGOCb8AJwh-vMpYWiXdaUUyXNq9T5vDXbdhwZ3ZoT9iu0riAXaUCwjE5S1xHiTeykxlWyWAX4BlOA_kXs0ZdYu5_zAl0cVVhzbf4zS4e5I/s1600-h/Gleaton91.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252732952573583090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ZcY7P9gAacpmCHIq8Q6zrHuBMGtnyn_e7KGOCb8AJwh-vMpYWiXdaUUyXNq9T5vDXbdhwZ3ZoT9iu0riAXaUCwjE5S1xHiTeykxlWyWAX4BlOA_kXs0ZdYu5_zAl0cVVhzbf4zS4e5I/s400/Gleaton91.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Players:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/f/fernasi01.shtml">Sid Fernandez</a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/g/gleatje01.shtml">Jerry Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Gleaton</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1990 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Fleer</span> #203, 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Topps</span> #597<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Jerry Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Gleaton</span> is melting into his pants. Pardon me, would you mind stopping what you're doing, smiling and standing awkwardly while I take a snapshot? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">GQ</span> says showing your undershirt is a fashion <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">faux</span>-pas.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />When you came up to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">bigs</span>, you didn't have to make these kinds of choices. But, now, alas, the time is here.<br />You're no longer a dominating pitcher - if you ever were. You never won 20 games or struck out 250 batters. The writers called you "crafty". But everybody knows that means you threw junk and you threw it left-handed. So, you survived. Pitched more years than Sandy Koufax, without one-tenth his stuff.<br />Your rookie year, you were somewhere between 210 and 230 pounds. And even though that's about 500 donuts ago, that's the weight that stays in the team media guide, forever.<br />But it couldn't stop you from arriving at this point in your career, a crossroads.<br />Obviously, the choice may not be entirely your own. You may need to consult a physician, haberdasher or butcher.<br />Or, more likely, you can just go with your gut.<br />Either way, you must confront the reality: belt or no belt?<br />Select a nice blue belt and you're never going to have to worry about the pants falling down. They'll be snug against your sizable posterior, no worries. They're also fashionable without being haughty.<br />Then again, you could end up in a one-hole's-too-tight, one-hole's-too-loose situation. Belts also put you at risk for an unfortunate buckle incident. Of course, any metal on your uniform could make you vulnerable to the 'ole Pittsburgh magnet trick.<br />But eschew the belt at your own risk. Sure, the elastic band is classic comfort. Good for bundling newspapers and sucking in a few extra pounds. It can also give you the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">breathability</span> you need to field a Brett Butler drag bunt.<br />Of course, everyone knows that elastic has a mind of it's own. In the fifth inning, for no apparent reason, the band can slowly creep past your waist, head straight for your armpits, like an orange-and-black python swallowing you whole. And it's pretty difficult to scuff up a baseball on elastic.<br />But we all must choose. So, what will <em>you</em> do?<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 8-2</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-91034677657977061552008-09-25T12:00:00.000-07:002008-09-25T19:04:58.665-07:00thanks a million<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9UlC8CREZ8M_AnDb-6fFl18o1qaaLvJFbbJOJgukS21CL0O9uZwVCD6mYAhi0j9Wq6vQE6SotvCy8ySBAkTjL4wJRZTEcz_b9_BcUvGClAZR8fQBEBuf0ZdZbCWW98Mk_L4z0EXpjNQ8/s1600-h/Montgomery90.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249785259085318290" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9UlC8CREZ8M_AnDb-6fFl18o1qaaLvJFbbJOJgukS21CL0O9uZwVCD6mYAhi0j9Wq6vQE6SotvCy8ySBAkTjL4wJRZTEcz_b9_BcUvGClAZR8fQBEBuf0ZdZbCWW98Mk_L4z0EXpjNQ8/s400/Montgomery90.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/m/montgje01.shtml">Jeff Montgomery<br /></a><strong>Card:</strong> 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Topps</span> #371<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player is lodged, jammed, trapped and caught squarely in the 1980s. Player is wearing Kansas City Royals <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">apparel</span> without the express written consent of Major League Baseball. Player - hands at the ready - is standing guard, protecting empty stadium from first base foul line.<br /><strong>Comments:<br /></strong>Dear Mike and Joan,<br />Sorry this has taken to so long! Between the honeymoon and the new house, we fell too far behind on sending out thank yous to all the people who blessed us with wonderful and generous gifts!<br />Jeff and I absolutely adore the visor and W<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">alkman</span>! Jeff has not taken them off since our wedding day! Can you believe that?!<br />Just other day, Jeff was commenting on how much he values the visor. Of course, since Jeff plays in the major leagues, the team supplies him with most of the equipment that he needs, including hats, light blue shirts with numbers on the shoulder, sliding pants and a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">MLB</span>-endorsed belt. However, one thing the team trainer did not hand out is a visor! It’s great for Jeff to have a hat with no roof - it helps keep his head cool in tight spots, like facing Kelly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Gruber</span> in the bottom of the ninth! Jeff loves how the visor includes stylish blue E-Z breath vents on the left and right sides. Jeff says they mop up the sweat, just like he mops up games! And of course, it has the Royals logo - precious! Jeff claims he is going to petition the league so he can wear it during games! Who knows if he's kidding?!<br />Even when he's on the road, Jeff likes to have a little bit of home and the bright yellow Walkman sure helps! Many times I will record inspirational messages for Jeff to listen to as he goes to sleep, or when he’s warming up in the bullpen. It's amazing! Once, when the Royals were facing the Red <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Sox</span>, the manager tried to call Jeff in to the game, but he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">didn</span>’t hear it because he still had the Walkman on! Can you believe that?! He really loves that Walkman!<br />Sadly, our dog Brett ate both the visor and the Walkman when someone - probably the maid - left them in the backyard. Enclosed, is a picture of Jeff cherishing both items before they were eaten.<br />Again, there is nothing we would have wanted more than to have all the people we love and cherish with us on the day Jeff and I started our life together. Sadly, our church had limited seating.<br />Still, we can’t thank you enough for your thoughtful generosity. Hope to see you again.<br />Love,<br />Jeff and Tina<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 9-5-2Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-31506870248099916732008-09-18T12:00:00.000-07:002008-09-18T12:00:00.783-07:00a low five<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGG0WuPwfMByp7pLo2DyCWtKVexKqVnDQUfvPaAXxpYjOPd3e4f19f034VTx0uvkzVvwUmh1jFI4W7BuKAdGF8Q3BEmy1LL6RB2mYqgeXU9PkYIROmVqLe-BlFBlyUGsm1TERBRktvHuI/s1600-h/Klesko03.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247243212615620290" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGG0WuPwfMByp7pLo2DyCWtKVexKqVnDQUfvPaAXxpYjOPd3e4f19f034VTx0uvkzVvwUmh1jFI4W7BuKAdGF8Q3BEmy1LL6RB2mYqgeXU9PkYIROmVqLe-BlFBlyUGsm1TERBRktvHuI/s400/Klesko03.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/k/kleskry01.shtml">Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Klesko</span></a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> Opening Day #23<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player appears to be hitting batting practice into fans. Player believes his hat is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">camouflage</span> - rest of uniform does not blend in.<br /><strong>Comment:</strong><br />Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines "worst" as the "most unfavorable, difficult, unpleasant, or painful." I believe this is the perfect way to describe the 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Topps</span> Opening Day Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Klesko</span> card. I believe this is the worst card ever put on cardboard because it is from a useless a subset, it makes no sense at all and Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Klesko</span> sucks.<br />One of the reasons the 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Topps</span> Opening Day Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Klesko</span> is the worst card ever produced is because it is from a useless subset. In 2003, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Topps</span> put out a regular set, a gallery set, a pristine set, a game-used memoribilia set, a heritage set, a mini set, a blue back set, a chrome set and a traded set. There was probably even more. So, the opening day set is just one more dumb picture of a player. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">It's like Topps is </span>spitting in the eyes of collectors, which is bad if you want them to buy stuff.<br />The second reason the 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Topps</span> Opening Day Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Klesko</span> is the worst card ever is because it makes no sense at all. The player is shown in a military hat, but who knows why. He's hitting off a batting tee, so it looks unique but instead it's only erstwhile and stupid and no one wants a card like that. Also, it also does not seem to have anything to do with opening day.<br />Finally, the 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Topps</span> Opening Day Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Klesko</span> is the worst card ever because Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Klesko</span> sucks. He's only hit over .300 two times and he grounded into 7 double plays, both very poor statistics. He also struck out 86 times which is one of the worst things you can do because it hurts your team and doesn't add any runs. He also only got one triple, which is not many even for something hard like a triple.<br />There are many, many bad cards ever invented in the world. But only one can be the worst card of all time in the entire universe. Because it is from a useless subset, it makes no sense at all and Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Klesko</span> sucks, the 2003 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Topps</span> Opening Day Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Klesko</span> is the worst card that was ever made.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> INTUglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-44407025375197707272008-09-11T12:00:00.000-07:002008-09-11T12:00:00.628-07:00disappearing in a von hayes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MMBg6ldgEb5wAIqSm5HgzTg5boUOjecdQz0rM7D3riZiquVPuJRS_yzP9XnK-rtygB7puT9ZnJO1An5pNr5cNU4v1XnjEyVdG4B0-EhJOtD2gd_93ochBt5OgcNE31c5hDcqJL_yOlA/s1600-h/Twins86.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244615910861309906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MMBg6ldgEb5wAIqSm5HgzTg5boUOjecdQz0rM7D3riZiquVPuJRS_yzP9XnK-rtygB7puT9ZnJO1An5pNr5cNU4v1XnjEyVdG4B0-EhJOtD2gd_93ochBt5OgcNE31c5hDcqJL_yOlA/s400/Twins86.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/h/hatchmi01.shtml">Mickey Hatcher</a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1986 Topps Twins leaders #786<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Although this is a "Twins leaders" card, player lead the team in no discernable statistical categories. Player wore baseball jammies during game. Player is emerging from a cloud.<br /><strong>Comment:</strong><br />The outlook was quite foggy for the Minnesota nine that day;<br />The score stood 14-3, with but 1/3 of an inning left to play.<br />But when Hrbek hit a grand slam and Gaetti did the same;<br />The single fan remaining decided not to leave the game.<br /><br />Then Tuefel let drive a single, to the bemusement of all;<br />And Burnansky, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball.<br />Unfortunately the thick smog never lifted, so the fan didn’t see what had occurred:<br />Tom was safe at second, and Tim - hugging third.<br /><br />Then from almost five throats and more there rose a dusty cough;<br />It ambled over Astroturf, it jangled in the roof.<br />It knocked upon the Xcel Center, where McCain had nearly fallen flat;<br />For Mickey, mighty Mickey, was allegedly advancing to the bat.<br /><br />There was a cloud near Mickey’s body as he stepped into his place;<br />There was haze near Mickey’s helmet and a double exposure on Mickey’s face.<br />And when, responding to the cheer, he lightly doffed his hat;<br />The lone fan in the crowd wondered: ‘Is that Pigpen at the bat?’<br /><br />And now the made-in-Japan sphere came careening through the air,<br />And Mickey suddenly vanished as if he were never there.<br />From the benches, there went up a muffled roar;<br />Mickey's teammates had long ago fallen asleep and now began to snore.<br /><br />“Find him! Find the player!” shouted someone in the stand;<br />And it’s likely they’d-a done so had not someone spotted Mickey’s hand.<br />They saw a foot near second base and heard a player strain;<br />They assumed Mickey must have hit it and wondered if he’d ever be seen again.<br /><br />The field has disappeared from view, despite playing in a dome;<br />The fan begins to wonder whether to turn off the air conditioning when the team’s at home.<br />And now Mickey’s heard rounding third, and now the fan is yelling, ‘Go!’<br />And now the smog swirls and spikes begin to show.<br /><br />Oh, somewhere in this favored land, the fans can see the game;<br />Somewhere smog has lifted, and clouds have done the same;<br />And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere there is sun;<br />But there is no joy in Minnesota - no one knows if Mickey scored the run.<br /><br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> F8</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-1869699840630275292008-09-04T12:00:00.000-07:002008-09-04T12:00:01.161-07:00on the road<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgORhPSPsGlgtk3kjAKj1RtdS-mpE9VF6v2xChHIcR4Wd-j5r7yd3BQmaBBzpuDmbhXrzOBGN9QbYa52MsvpqADlBJZWKET509yk61hTIHbsvzSeYmjmFWZBdtg3iTHm-CCyCdbR_u4WZU/s1600-h/Rhodes93.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242016447859378066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgORhPSPsGlgtk3kjAKj1RtdS-mpE9VF6v2xChHIcR4Wd-j5r7yd3BQmaBBzpuDmbhXrzOBGN9QbYa52MsvpqADlBJZWKET509yk61hTIHbsvzSeYmjmFWZBdtg3iTHm-CCyCdbR_u4WZU/s400/Rhodes93.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><strong></strong></div><div><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/r/rhodear01.shtml">Arthur Rhodes</a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1993 Fleer #174<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Um, he's not a catcher. Sweet hightops. What's he hiding under that left arm?<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />There is a man. Arthur Rhodes. He's no Tuffy. Just a man.</div><div>Not The Man. </div><div>A Man.</div><div>He is one small crouch for man; one giant leap, leap, leap for mankind.</div><div>Crouch, slouch, grouch.<br />Kill, spill, thrill. Had my fill.<br />Don't Talk Back to the Pepsi GENeration.<br />Arthur Rhodes. How many Arthur Rhodes must a man travel down?</div><div>we want our Heroes to fit in boxes - even small boxes</div><div>Boxes Confine; Boxes Define</div><div>Do you have a spine?</div><div>Made $31 million. Or did $31 million make, him?</div><div>Swapped for Jason Kendall. </div><div>Swapped. Flopped. Dropped. </div><div>Popped.<br />Trading men. Traitor men.</div><div>Men cannot be traded for ideas, only other men.</div><div>Unless we are at war.</div><div>Arthur Rhodes. Not The Man. Just a man.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> CS 1-3</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-25621706624974329432008-08-28T12:00:00.000-07:002008-08-28T12:00:00.834-07:00this player is for surreal<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNTS8iRWqY1_QRc1rQGQU-nUtijYHjJv_jyN_J5WEIWkpqGuYEZl_MAQorJzGoxq8HG6afoRmQn7izMh5nFTZJ_CalCaZsYN6PQYvt-1GJmd0vGxBdEjqA0k3RP17sbvUHP6fXSWY6PZc/s1600-h/Russo92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239370814071775826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNTS8iRWqY1_QRc1rQGQU-nUtijYHjJv_jyN_J5WEIWkpqGuYEZl_MAQorJzGoxq8HG6afoRmQn7izMh5nFTZJ_CalCaZsYN6PQYvt-1GJmd0vGxBdEjqA0k3RP17sbvUHP6fXSWY6PZc/s400/Russo92.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div></div><div></div><div><strong>Players:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/bolicfr01.shtml">Frank <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Bolick</span></a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/p/paquecr01.shtml">Craig <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Paquette</span></a>, <a href="http://minors.baseball-reference.com/players.cgi?pid=11935">Tom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Redington</span></a>, <a href="http://minors.baseball-reference.com/players.cgi?pid=12796">Paul Russo</a></div><div><strong>Card:</strong> 1992 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Topps</span> #473 </div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> One of these players is not like the others; one of these players just doesn't belong. Who is Craig <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Paquette</span> pointing at? Does Frank B<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">olick</span> only play night games? </div><div><strong>Comments:</strong> We are pleased to announce Paul Russo has been named the associate director of regional scouting for the Minnesota Twins. Paul, who served as interim executive assistant to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">subregional</span> director of Midwest scouting, replaces Clem <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Labine</span>, who was recently promoted to senior executive director of player development and catering.</div><div>Paul joined the Minnesota Twins in 1992. He was a cartoon sketch before being painted by the esteemed <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Wassily</span> Kandinsky for several years.</div><div>In addition to Paul's experience as a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">water color </span>and a charcoal drawing, Paul was instrumental in encouraging the Twins to sign more illustrated players. Under Paul's leadership, the Twins scouting department has won numerous awards; including, most recently, the St. Paul County Fair Best in Show.</div><div>The Twins had many qualified candidates who applied for the position. However, Paul is an 'outside-the-cubism' thinker. He left a major impression on our leadership team, because he refuses to be abstract or transparent. </div><div>(Rumors that Paul was a real player simply using enhanced body paints have been thoroughly investigated and refuted.)</div><div>Until a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">permanent</span> replacement can be found, Paul's previous position will be filled by night watchman Frank <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Bolick</span>, who is currently working to transform himself from a solid to a more ephemeral artistic form, possibly a song or a spoken poetry jam.</div><div>We believe Paul puts us in the best position to move ahead in the post modern world.</div><div>Join us in congratulating Paul. (Please do not shake his hand - he smudges easily.)</div><div><strong>Scoring:</strong> 5-2-6-2</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-50368849832766783732008-08-21T12:00:00.000-07:002008-08-27T17:27:22.832-07:00sign on the dotted line<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_H67ng2XuW98CeprqFu7sy5OZzin2VSLkZyiGJUBGH2zl1cqXpZte7NsQuHM-6qTVn8kxalJeTI6hOpqvB5CMXQ9wCNBhR4anuitTXZiD9dqdYa5Pag8IyScQR5TgjVQgqYHxfpxoy4/s1600-h/NoboaJ90.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239358332284043058" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_H67ng2XuW98CeprqFu7sy5OZzin2VSLkZyiGJUBGH2zl1cqXpZte7NsQuHM-6qTVn8kxalJeTI6hOpqvB5CMXQ9wCNBhR4anuitTXZiD9dqdYa5Pag8IyScQR5TgjVQgqYHxfpxoy4/s400/NoboaJ90.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/n/noboaju01.shtml">Junior <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Noboa</span></a> <div><div><strong>Card:</strong> 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> #182</div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> Player put tape on hairy arms - that is going to hurt coming off. Player appears to be wearing McDonald's brand batting gloves. That can't be a real Major League uniform. Player not making eye contact with autograph recipient.</div><div><strong>Comments:</strong></div><div>"Mister! Mister! Can you sign my scorecard?"</div><div>"Sure kid, no problem."</div><div><em>My first autograph request! Five years in the show and finally a break! </em></div><div><em>OK, stay calm. Focus, Junior. You can do this. Fear is not an option in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">bigs</span>. You are a champion. A lion.</em></div><div><em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">C'mon</span>! Your wrists are taped, you got on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">suuh</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">weet</span> uni and you're a pro athlete. You can do anything that you set your mind to, Junior. Mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter. </em></div><div><em>OK, here we go...</em><em>Wait. </em></div><div><em>What should I sign? Junior <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Noboa</span>? J. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Noboa</span>? J.N. 4<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">eva</span>? That's stupid. How about my real name: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Milciades</span> Arturo <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Diaz</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Noboa</span>. Yeah, and then maybe put Junior in the middle, with some quotation marks. This kid will love it! You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">da</span> man, Junior. You're a tiger, a puma.</em></div><div><em>Wait. Maybe I should do a little more. Anybody can just sign their name. Heck, this dumb, ugly could kid probably could have signed my name. He'd probably even spell it right. I got to do something a little special. OK, how about: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Milciades</span> Arturo <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Diaz</span> "Junior" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Noboa</span>, 2B, Expos. </em></div><div><em>Ugh. </em><em>Why would I write that? </em><em>He knows what position I play! He's got the damn scorecard in his hand! Pathetic. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">C'mon</span> Junior, pull it together. </em><em>Write something inspirational. </em></div><div><em>Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Never take a wooden nickel. Nice - that's it. Kids today probably don't even know about wooden nickels anymore. OK. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Milciades</span> Arturo <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Diaz</span> "Junior" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Noboa</span>, 2B, Expos. Don't take any wooden nickels." Yeah, real smooth.</em></div><div><em>Wait. That makes no sense. How can I tell this kid about nickels when I make thousands of dollars and he probably had to scrape together a week's pay - maybe even kill a man - just to get his tickets. It's like I'm rubbing my wealth in the kid's face. He'll probably be so mad, he'll kill again. Then I'll be an accessory to murder. Great. Going to prison.</em></div><div><em>Damn, why did I tell this kid I would sign his scorecard? Let's see, maybe...</em></div><div>"Hey, mister? Mister? Never mind, mister. I mean...um, thanks for trying and all, but I gotta go. But not because you're taking so long. Uh, no, that's not it. It's just that Tim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Wallach</span> looks really lonely over there and, well, nobody likes a lonely <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Wallach</span>. So, you see, that's why I have to leave. See ya."<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> WP, WP, WP, WP</div></div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-42699512915527321922008-08-14T12:00:00.000-07:002008-08-14T12:00:02.185-07:00dear john<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoJ237eTCKaHoeKbkv6Sc8c4b9Yt5tzydiHEeBd5gHgrPPBvuz5ffdMpzJ4-NA6VqNLYZtxo3fuB71h9L4FmXtmhC2j3Vzpl_wex4_Bp5bKXkqJES7ZrY0QfpEgTbdg6C_x795PGThR8I/s1600-h/Holmes1993.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234259953680925970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoJ237eTCKaHoeKbkv6Sc8c4b9Yt5tzydiHEeBd5gHgrPPBvuz5ffdMpzJ4-NA6VqNLYZtxo3fuB71h9L4FmXtmhC2j3Vzpl_wex4_Bp5bKXkqJES7ZrY0QfpEgTbdg6C_x795PGThR8I/s400/Holmes1993.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/h/holmeda01.shtml">Darren Holmes</a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1993 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Fleer</span> #412<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player was told it was a team picture, only to discover he was alone in the stadium for an intimate afternoon with the photographer. Player's Rockies uniform looks remarkably similar to Milwaukee jersey. Player staying very classy with his sporty V-neck, accompanied by matching long sleeve combo.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br />Dear Darren,<br />It is very difficult for me to write this. You've been a fairly adequate part of my life for almost six years now. We've had some good to above-average times. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Vero</span> Beach. San Antonio. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Beloit</span>.<br />But something seems to have changed with you lately.<br />I catch you staring off into space.<br />You shave irregularly - and I mean that both in terms of frequency and coverage of your face. Your posture could be considered weak, at best.<br />But it's more than that. I didn't realize how I truly felt until I saw your 1993 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Fleer</span> card - the guy sitting next to me on the bus was using it as a bookmark for his copy of "Six People You Meet in Hell".<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Geez</span>, Darren - you're supposed to be a major league ball player. Someone kids idolize. A hero to grown men. The guy women dream of being with.<br />1993 Fleer says otherwise.<br />First of all, did you notice that you're on the Rockies now? Guess what: you got picked in the expansion draft. So what's with the Brewers gear? Grow up, Darren.<br />I might have forgiven you that. I might have been able to overlook a uniform slip after all our history. But you're holding a bat! A bat? The Brewers are in the American League, for at least four more years! You've never batted once in your entire career! You may as well have picked up a sword or a fireman's hose or a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">large mouth</span> bass. Ridiculous.<br />That picture is sort of a symbol of where we went wrong. I want to face reality. You live your half-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">shaven</span>, dazed, wrong-team life in Fantasyland.<br />I suppose you know where this is going: I really believe it would be better if we took some time off, split up, saw other people or, preferably, all of the above.<br />I hope you know how hard this is for me. I'm tearing up inside just trying to write this letter. But we know this is what's best for <em>both</em> of us. Or at least me.<br />So as we move our <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">separate</span> ways, be assured, it was definitely you, not me.<br />Love,<br />Baseball<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> LO4</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-76674568542928127322008-08-07T12:00:00.000-07:002008-08-08T13:01:57.435-07:00a nice place to visit<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiDN6gMg_-XboEATgg8rj5zTdRJe8PzfA9CZcIroKRasJ-F5ek_Qs6-UKZOuLB3s_SMj2r0nLiypR4oOdFYKjuAlO4GQTqGg3GGPdoiCk3wiPNOr9KCq57mGIoMq51DI6GauU2A0gP2Wk/s1600-h/Sierra92.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231676501375025410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiDN6gMg_-XboEATgg8rj5zTdRJe8PzfA9CZcIroKRasJ-F5ek_Qs6-UKZOuLB3s_SMj2r0nLiypR4oOdFYKjuAlO4GQTqGg3GGPdoiCk3wiPNOr9KCq57mGIoMq51DI6GauU2A0gP2Wk/s400/Sierra92.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong> Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/sierrru01.shtml">Ruben Sierra </a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1992 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Topps</span></span> Stadium Club #387<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player is neither at a stadium, nor wearing a baseball uniform, nor in the act of playing a sport. Player borrowed his hat from a Love Boat passenger. Nice <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">bling</span></span>.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong><br /><em>Dear Ruben Sierra,</em><br /><em>My mother has reached the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. She requires constant care and doesn't recognize any of her family members. We love her so much and desperately don't want to send her to a nursing home. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Unfortunately</span>, her care has become exhausting to me and my wife. We're fighting with each other more than we ever have. Mom sacrificed a lot for me, so I feel like I owe it to her, but how can my wife and I love Mom - and still find time to love each other?</em><br /><em>Frustrated in Flagstaff</em><br />Dear Flagstaff,<br />Thank you for writing Ruben Sierra. The love of our mothers is a very precious thing. Have you considered bringing the family to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Puerto</span></span> Rico? With both Spanish and English as the official languages, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Puerto</span></span> Rico is considered the crossroads where Spanish and Anglo cultures meet. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Puerto</span></span> Rico uses American currency, so it's a place the whole family can feel closer. Give it a try.<br />Sincerely, Ruben Sierra<br /><br /><em>Dear Ruben Sierra,</em><br /><em>I'm a self-diagnosed car nut, who owns six vehicles. But for driving around, I prefer my 2004 Dodge Ram. It's got 103,00 miles but I treat that car as good as my kids: regular tune-ups, oil changes and she stays in the garage all winter. Last week, I was on my way to work and she started backfiring on a bridge with a slight incline. Now, she backfires every time I go uphill. I checked the fuel injectors, the gaskets, but can't find the problem. Any ideas? </em><br /><em>Baffled in Buffalo</em><br />Dear Baffled,<br />Thank you for writing to Ruben Sierra. With close to four million residents, reliable transportation is always a high priority where I grew up: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Puerto</span></span> Rico. Did you know the average <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">temperature</span> is 83 degrees in the winter? This 35-mile long island is known as the "Island of Enchantment" for its diverse climates. So come and stay for a weekend, a week or a month! Also, check your spark plugs and ignition coils.<br />Sincerely, Ruben Sierra<br /><br /><em>Dear Ruben Sierra,</em><br /><em>I'm 18, so this is the first year I'll be able to vote in the presidential election. I know I should care, but I'm just not that interested. Neither candidate seems to be speaking my language. But my dad says it's my duty to vote. Isn't it my right to express myself by NOT voting?</em><br /><em>Perplexed in Pasadena</em><br />Dear Perplexed,<br />Thank you for writing to Ruben Sierra. Taking part in the governmental process can be a confusing time in a young person's life. We've learned that the hard way in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Puerto</span></span> Rico, where we have been part of the United States since 1898 - but still don't have a vote in Congress. Fortunately, since Puerto Rican residents are U.S. citizens, travelers do not have to worry about customs duties on any goods brought out of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Puerto</span> Rico to the mainland. Additionally, almost all <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Puerto</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Rican</span></span> businesses accept major credit cards, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">ATMs</span></span> are easily accessible. Why don't you exercise your freedom and come visit us in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Puerto</span></span> Rico?<br />Sincerely, Ruben Sierra<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 9-2Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-11632479132083633122008-07-31T12:00:00.000-07:002008-12-12T14:44:39.235-08:00previously on<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8C_Voonx0ZyMqolfkKvaaIpUdPtz8ZDHYpbpdpEM1kHFVbTUkl3HgjgMTZOsLzP8t1Y_IJySLcm_ny2CZgMZz5HE2BGTPQ_NcenDM-rHl06p-gINSaar4wRn-ffqXDPaQdrLdASxV3L8/s1600-h/Azocar.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230890674002825970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8C_Voonx0ZyMqolfkKvaaIpUdPtz8ZDHYpbpdpEM1kHFVbTUkl3HgjgMTZOsLzP8t1Y_IJySLcm_ny2CZgMZz5HE2BGTPQ_NcenDM-rHl06p-gINSaar4wRn-ffqXDPaQdrLdASxV3L8/s400/Azocar.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/a/azocaos01.shtml">Oscar <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Azocar</span> </a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1991 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> #659<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player was not issued an official Yankee uniform, rather a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">souvenir</span> t-shirt. Player might have spent a little less time with the circus tricks, a little more time in the batting cage. Player has stage fright - waits to perform until stadium is evacuated.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong> <em>Last week on "Yankee Island"...</em><br />After a terrible month of June, 35 castaways found themselves stranded in Yankee Stadium, without electricity, running water, bathrooms, a radio, food, hair brushes, a simple patch for their shipwrecked boat, a movie star, Mary Ann, heat, or air-conditioning.<br />As each Stranded Yank uses his or her strengths to try to rescue the team, their weakness threaten to strand them for good.<br />Things look grim for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Deion</span> Sanders, Matt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Nokes</span> and Kevin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Maas</span>, who all disappear in the mysterious <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Steinbrenner</span> Haze that hangs over the dugout. Have they vanished forever?<br />Normally best friends, 'The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Daves</span>' - <a href="http://uglybaseballcard.blogspot.com/2008/01/eilands-nice-place-to-visit.html"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Eiland</span> </a>and <a href="http://uglybaseballcard.blogspot.com/2008/02/paint-by-win-loss-numbers.html"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">LaPoint</span> </a>- find themselves in a bitter disagreement over whose mother makes the best brownies. Will these former allies be able to put aside their differences to help the squad?<br />Meanwhile, catcher Bob <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Geren</span> faces a personal crisis: Does becoming a man mean leaving his old friends behind? Or is there room in his life for both new friends and old pals?<br />At the same time, Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Mattingly</span> and Steve <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Balboni's</span> mustaches become <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">inadvertently</span> intertwined, threatening the safety and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">camaraderie</span> on the Island.<br />With time running out on the Stranded Yanks, left fielder Oscar <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Azocar</span> fashions a rudimentary signaling device to call for help. The bubbling beakers and flashing electrical currents he normally uses in his very scientific, high-tech lab are not available, so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Azocar</span> must return to his roots. Using only two bats and an ordinary <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Rawlings</span> baseball, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Azocar</span> sends out a distress signal. Dot, dot, dot. Dash, dash, dash. Dot, dot, dot.<br />Will anyone hear his call? Can anyone <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">separate</span> the mustaches? Are there any brownies left?<br />Find out on this week's exciting episode of...."<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Yankeeeeeeee</span> Island!"<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 1-5-3Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-11928453741387841142008-07-24T12:00:00.000-07:002008-12-12T14:44:39.358-08:00and it's tasty, too<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZwNsMKoT2dDDI3rg-SrfeNbahhejS7c3i48sJPnT49DoudDnNWOxmdgkIptcGApr1FRe2eYz1pViY_PbanNdPEZ1oroRWMGqigh75QnJ2XDz4xL-ivf0CDlLVwg7X6_VeYvxUwIBL2ec/s1600-h/Wathan86.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223125177102071970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZwNsMKoT2dDDI3rg-SrfeNbahhejS7c3i48sJPnT49DoudDnNWOxmdgkIptcGApr1FRe2eYz1pViY_PbanNdPEZ1oroRWMGqigh75QnJ2XDz4xL-ivf0CDlLVwg7X6_VeYvxUwIBL2ec/s400/Wathan86.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/w/wathajo01.shtml">John <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wathan</span></a><br /><div><strong>Card:</strong> 1986 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Topps</span> #556</div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> Another in the collection of fabulous light blue Major League baseball uniforms. Player may be practicing bunting with the donut still on. </div><div><strong>Comments:</strong></div><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>John <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Wathan's</span> special baseball donut recipe</strong></span></div><div>Serves four; about 8 <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">minutes</span> cooking time</div><br /><div><em>Ingredients:</em> </div><div>One (1) cup all-purpose flour</div><div>One-half (1/2) cup sugar </div><div>One (1) level tablespoon double acting baking powder</div><div>One-half (1/2) cup of milk</div><div>One-quarter (1/4) teaspoon of ginger</div><div>One (1) wooden bat</div><br /><div><em>Instructions:</em> </div><div>Mix flour, sugar, baking powder and milk in large mixing bowl. When ingredients are thoroughly mixed - and Lonnie Smith has grounded out - pour onto baking sheet.</div><div>While <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Onix</span> Concepcion is stepping up to the plate, roll into 5-inch long strip. Fold strip into circle, until in shape of "donut" and Darryl Motley is on third.</div><div>Cook for 23 seconds on 450 degrees, or until Steve <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Balboni</span> gets picked off first. </div><div>Remove crispy brown donut while Mark <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Gubicza</span> warms up.</div><div>Shove donut onto bat and eat in the on-deck circle!<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> CS 2-5</div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-6484041576424498982008-07-17T12:00:00.000-07:002008-12-12T14:44:39.562-08:00in the year 3000....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0F54Se82R1vjKCtMsqbQmJnMBWiThTzFQ9n0Ef4Hvmur3NzEAWlNURebJqv12yWSF9R-mY8adrE_4ZbYWk7F-MoUPypz_bVslz0qzpPn8V3UhUC6bow9UsoRM9qt-DS7MeedBYsXHGI0/s1600-h/Augustine+82.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223121565471006114" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0F54Se82R1vjKCtMsqbQmJnMBWiThTzFQ9n0Ef4Hvmur3NzEAWlNURebJqv12yWSF9R-mY8adrE_4ZbYWk7F-MoUPypz_bVslz0qzpPn8V3UhUC6bow9UsoRM9qt-DS7MeedBYsXHGI0/s400/Augustine+82.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/a/augusje01.shtml">Jerry Augustine</a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1982 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Fleer</span> #133<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> That's either a mirror, or a small ghost player in the haze. There's a finger sticking out of that guy's glove! Cool spacesuit.<br /><strong>Comments:</strong> In the future, baseball will be a very different game.<br />The players will literally float between the bases and can be tagged out, forced out, or beamed up.</div><div>There will no more human umpires, only computers that call balls and strikes, safe or out. Also, the computer umpires will have the power to kill.<br />Women will play alongside men, but only in the National League West.<br />After Android Bud Selig legalizes all performance enhancing substances except for pancake batter, 14 players die from injecting pancake batter into their arms.<br />Ads will be digitally superimposed on the hats of all spectators in the first six rows.<br />Fans will still be allowed to keep foul balls that go into the stands, but anyone who catches a foul ball will be charged a $4.50 recipient's fee by Major League Baseball.<br />Players will all wear light blue, one-piece space uniforms with tiny yellow belts.<br />Any celebrity who has a movie coming out with expected box office of more than $300 million (U.S.) will recieve one at-bat during interleague night games.<br />The home run derby will no longer be a long ball contest. It will literally be players running home, trying to escape the killer robot umpires.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> FO7 </div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-66283963005394994392008-07-10T12:00:00.000-07:002008-12-12T14:44:39.761-08:00regular and extra strength<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyQb_9lM3bx-PbyxTTflrZd8pQ1_b0UMx362XWFSQzNjuiAb7sGL_VoIr6KDt11TkHwUCgnbaogLVaMcFi2lELdOF9HGNQjW96FNgtI81VAD_sNS5keAMoskydJVstGkOqNSjlLpg5fAU/s1600-h/IMG_0001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221238305124451922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyQb_9lM3bx-PbyxTTflrZd8pQ1_b0UMx362XWFSQzNjuiAb7sGL_VoIr6KDt11TkHwUCgnbaogLVaMcFi2lELdOF9HGNQjW96FNgtI81VAD_sNS5keAMoskydJVstGkOqNSjlLpg5fAU/s400/IMG_0001.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><div><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/m/mclaujo01.shtml">Joey McLaughlin </a><br /><strong>Card:</strong> 1984 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Topps</span> #556<br /><strong>Errors:</strong> Player woke up late, wore his light blue pajamas to the game. Player may have stolen <a href="http://uglybaseballcard.blogspot.com/2008/01/tribute-to-big-glasses.html">Tom Henke's </a>glasses. The promotion for tonight's game: all blurry fans half price. Player has a finger sticking out of his glove!<br /><strong>Comments: </strong>Fellas, how often have you gotten drunk, shaved your head, then had to show up bald at the construction site for six weeks? Ladies, that bad perm you got at a discount salon - should it really take two months before you can straighten your bangs again? </div><div>For years, men and women have suffered with slow growing hair. Well, never again with <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Insta</span>-Shag</strong>! </div><div>Hair help has arrived and it's <strong>fast</strong>!<br /><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> guarantees to grow <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">your hair</span> 4,000% faster than normal. Using our patented microfibers and the latest in biomedical chemistry engineering we can have you hairy in less than an hour. It's that <strong>fast</strong>!<br />How do we do it? Our scientists worked for almost a month to find the perfect blend of natural ingredients and powerful chemicals. It uses the most innovative follicle acceleration compounds allowed under international treaties. Just rub <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> onto any area that needs growth, then wait for the hair to pour out. (Warning: wear gloves or your palms will be too hairy to hide! It's just that <strong>powerful</strong>!)<br />Don't believe us? Maybe you'll take the word of Major League pitcher Joey McLaughlin:<br /><em>"On May 30, we had a big game against the Detroit. We were tied for first place and needed a win. (Manager) Bobby Cox called on me in the eighth inning, with the team up 2-0. I pitched great, striking out <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Herndon</span>, Parrish and Wilson. When we scored two more runs in the top of the ninth, coach took me out. Everyone thought we had the game clinched!</em><br /><em>But the Tigers scored four in the bottom of the ninth to tie up the game! Coach was stuck because we had no pitchers left. Dave <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Stieb</span> was at his daughter's communion. Doyle Alexander had pitched the night before. Jim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Acker</span> had been attacked by a bear two nights earlier, and the trainers weren't ready to test his arm. </em><br /><em>That's when I remembered I had some <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> in my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">locker</span>. I ran into the clubhouse, rubbed some on and within three minutes I had a fully grown beard! Cox put me in again, telling the umpire my name was Moe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">JaGaughlin</span>. Thanks to <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> they never knew the difference! Whitaker popped out, then after walking Gibson, I got <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Herndon</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Cabell</span> to ground out. The ball that Cabell hit was so covered in hair, it barely cleared the pitcher's mound!</em></div><div><em>We were in first place. I got the win, but <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> gets the save! Thanks <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Insta</span>-Shag</strong>!"</em><br />Still don't believe us? Try <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> for three months and if you're not completely satisfied will send you another month's supply - <strong>absolutely free!</strong> Where else will you find that?</div><div><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Insta</span>-Shag</strong> can also be used to grow hair on dogs, turtles, Corvettes or bicycle racks. It is available in most <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Oscos</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">CVS</span> stores and Hallmarks.<br />You'll soon be able to try <strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Un</span>-Shag</strong>, our hair growth inhibitor, which puts a burn so severe into the first three layers of skin you'll never grow hair again! (Use only under doctor's supervision. May cause death in rare instances.)<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 9-6-2</div></div>Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7839123152972327143.post-41159098530768278462008-07-03T12:00:00.000-07:002008-12-12T14:44:39.890-08:00the hunchback of middle infielders<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHyBkBOvkRCfbSW3GnVKh977ZHQ9ce3fs-l1KPHcu5qon6rOCkE1m0cxx94w-vfHP7UHO_ezveYQeVlAfbE7hcz2JpXCpnBPc0V8BaSqM9P0wG7vVrv7xEsl_m36j2CAq5CitOF2ykuvM/s1600-h/Treadway91.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218773842199927794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHyBkBOvkRCfbSW3GnVKh977ZHQ9ce3fs-l1KPHcu5qon6rOCkE1m0cxx94w-vfHP7UHO_ezveYQeVlAfbE7hcz2JpXCpnBPc0V8BaSqM9P0wG7vVrv7xEsl_m36j2CAq5CitOF2ykuvM/s400/Treadway91.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Player:</strong> <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/t/treadje01.shtml">Jeff Treadway</a><br /><div><strong>Card:</strong> 1991 Fleer #707</div><div><strong>Errors:</strong> Kids, that's no way to field a grounder - always get in front of the ball. Is he playing baseball in a meadow? Again, thank you Fleer for a set of blindingly yellow posed baseball cards.</div><div><strong>Comments:</strong> </div><div>FULTON COUNTY SHERIFF DEPARTMENT</div><div>INCIDENT REPORT 08-AF1543</div><div><em><strong>Incident:</strong></em> Aggravated fielding </div><div><em><strong>Time</strong>:</em> 23:11 </div><div><em><strong>Date:</strong></em> 7.3.1990</div><div><em><strong>Location:</strong></em> Meadow bordering Chalmers St. and Howell Ave.</div><div><em><strong>Suspect:</strong></em> Jeff Treadway, 1/22/1963, 521 Capitol Ave., Atlanta, GA, m/w, 170 lbs, 5ft11, hair brown, eyes closed, posture poor, wearing blue hat, blue shirt, high gray pants, no tattoos or identifying marks</div><div><em><strong>Summary:</strong></em> At above time and location, I, Offc. John DeMerit #29, was called to the scene of an aggravated fielding incident. Victim Herb Moford (8/6/1928, 12301 Roosevelt Ave, Flushing, NY, m/w, 6'1'', 175, hair brown, eyes hazel with specks of green) reported that he was having a picnic in a meadow near his home when he was approached by suspect Treadway, whom he did not know and was not enemies with.</div><div>Suspect Treadway was slumped over, yelling, "I am quasimodo. Throw me a grounder. I am quasimodo! Toss me a little pepper!" </div><div>Suspect's comments caused victim Moford to become alarmed and disturbed, as he was with his fiancee and feared for her physical safety.</div><div>In a calm manner, Moford gave suspect Treadway verbal instructions to leave the area. Suspect Treadway continued to advance toward picnic area and continued to verbally yell. When he reached picnic, suspect Treadway stepped on victim's fruit salad and silverware. Suspect Treadway then scooped up an orange and threw it at victim Moford, who was able to avoid contact with the projectile. Total loss was estimated at $8.50. </div><div>Victim Moford and fiancee fled the area northbound on Howell Ave and contacted authorities from Ken's Dollar Store, 1037 Howell Ave.</div>When officers arrived, suspect Treadway was slumped over, trying to scoop up ducks in his baseball glove.<br />At 23:45 hrs, I contacted state's attorney's office. ASA Cliff Cook approved charges of felony aggravated fielding and misdemeanor water fowl harassment within 1000 feet of a school.<br /><strong>Scoring:</strong> 7-4Uglee Cardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17451021792912842946noreply@blogger.com3